Log in

06 September 2005 @ 02:22 pm
psyche ward, bitches.
05 August 2005 @ 04:27 am
finally went to diversity. snow was there. she's going to come visit me TWICE when she's done camping. um...what else. oh yeah, i can't sleep at all. and it's not cool. my eyes are melting. sigh, i don't know what to say. i'm really tired. and.....BLEH. so i think i'll cut this short, because as it turns out...i didn't have anything to say.
Current Mood: exanimateexanimate
Current Music: the crystal method - keep hope alive
02 August 2005 @ 08:24 pm
psychologist appointment. doubled my prozac dose. and added abilify. the same thing they use to treat schizophrenics......................................yeah.
Current Mood: crankycranky
Current Music: johnny hollow - gone
27 July 2005 @ 11:07 pm
xanga should die. i went to make a protected list and write a new entry, and bam. runtime error. screw you xanga. you know we hate you. why else would we have livejournals? yeah, tell me that xanga.


yeah, that's what i thought, xanga. nothing to say. like usual. you're a coward and a piece of shit. you don't even work well. only ten people in my protected list! fuck you xanga. fuck you.
Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
Current Music: massive attack - teardrop
i often envy women. i only wish that i had been born with the ability to carry life within my own self. the word patriarch is so hollow.

and from time to time i even wish that i was straight. but not that i could love girls. that i was one. sometimes it just seems like everyone has everything so much easier than me and my words about how i get more out of life for it's harshness don't help anymore.
Current Mood: uncomfortableuncomfortable
Current Music: the flaming lips - godzilla flick
going through all of the massive attack on my computer and adding what i like to my playlist. fun fun. it's way too hot right now. i should be getting ferrets soon. i love those cute little guys. awwwwww.

wow, it's really damn hot. and it's midnight. not cool. i wish there were stores open here at night. oh, and i need a job, but what's new about that? i often just plain old don't have anything to say. last night i had a dream that involved kyle and readi-whip.

ooh baby. it was pretty innocent though. i mean...considering that it involved a boy and readi-whip. lol.

i really like kyle.

and that's bad.
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: massive attack - safe from harm
i spent the night at angela's house. she's really boring when she's asleep. but amusing when she's lacking it.

life's little disappointments hit me far too hard. it's truly stupid. i don't know how i manage to get attached to people before i even know them. it's pretty bad. i'm starving. but i'm at angela's house with her creepy parents and...well, they're creepy. angela needs to wake up so we can watch our movies and so that i can eat. blah. i think you should die.

shit, i dreamt about that fucker jeff. fuck, fuck, FUCK!

"This was never my world, you took the angel away. I'll kill myself to make everybody pay."
Current Mood: lonelylonely
Current Music: marilyn manson - the fall of adam
that was the most wonderful sleep i have ever had. it was amazing. i wish there had been someone else in the bed with me though, but even without.......oh that was lovely. and i slept forever. it was.........i like sleep. and the temperature......it's wonderful. it's a beautiful day today. i woke up at ten so i've been up about two hours. so i really don't have much to write, i watched a movie and ate cereal so far today, that's about it. i also found some old clothes that i didn't think fit me anymore, apparently i lost some weight that i had gained, because they fit me again. though they definitely didn't for awhile.

this song is annoying as hell, i think it's by patti smith. wow.....make it stop. i do not like it. my dad and sister whipped out the nintendo and started playing super mario world. they are so bad. it hurts to watch them play. you just want to tear your eyes out because they are SO bad. and i'm not even good at it. i want a kiss. and a peppermint pattie.


i know. i can buy a boy a peppermint pattie and then make him kiss me. Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Current Mood: mellowmellow
Current Music: einsturzende neabauten - sabrina
30 June 2005 @ 01:52 pm
we really did pimp my basement though. after we cleaned it for forever we went and got some free furniture, a couch and a loveseat. we also got an end table. we set it up all nice like and soon we will begin hanging drapes to create the illusion of a closed space and also prevent you from seeing the washer, dryer, and heater. a tv shall go in the new, "room" along with my playstation two and various lighting things. also, some little computer speakers and whatever i can to spruce the place up. because it's the basement, which means it's 10 degrees cooler than the rest of the house, and that's the entire point. it feels like it's alot later than it actually is. i want to say it's seven. i guess my internal clock is six hours off. but whatever. read this "conversation."

myself: seriously, i really do hate christians. really really. i mean, completely. you're christian, i hate that part of you. i mean, overall it's possible, i suppose, that you're a decent person. but....seriously. fucking die.

him: christians can be anoying, but really. not anymore than anybody else. its just the cool thing to slam on christians. so whats your excuse?

myself: from my experience they are alot more annoying than everyone else. and hell, i wish it was the cool thing to slam on christians here, because here....it's cool to be christian. if you're not christian, all the christian's look at you funny and call you a faggot and try to hit you with their cars. so sorry if i'm alittle fucking bitter. but i have had to get out of the way of cars that swerved towards me one too many fucking times to feel any love for christians. what's my excuse? well, i don't need one. first of all. i am permitted to feel however i damn well please. but in reality, my excuse is the fact that.....i really....really....hate them all. alot.

him: ha HA. good answer. god, duality between majority and minority is such an interesting subject of combersation, to bad it is very prone to self ritiousnes ( no that is not an insinuation) i did NOT know you where a homosexual.
Current Mood: hothot
Current Music: NIN - we're in this together
30 June 2005 @ 10:08 am
didn't sleep last night, at all. went for donuts at around five. living on caffeine. cleaning out the basement so it may be a receptacle to the free furniture we are receiving. it's too small down there though. very...very small. and dirty. but oh well. there are homeade hasbrowns, and those are good.

i fear that i will never play another game of magic on the pool table. with which i have no idea what we're going to do. but at least now i will have furniture to bring to the psuedo-commune. angela tends the chickens. and we only eat them if they die of natural causes. i'm too tired to write much. seriously......just.......tired. i want to curl up and sleep with a boy in my bed with an air conditioner on full blast during a thunder storm. speaking of which, there was an amazing electrical storm last night and i saw all of it. it was beautiful. unless you were there with me you missed out on something wonderful.

hashbrowns are good.
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: mors syphylitica - the hues of longing